Pregnancy's A Trip
by Gwyndolyn Slim
Summary: RusxFem!Amer. The two good things about this was that She wasn't 17, in highschool, and pregnant. She was 32, had a career, pregnant, and her lover,Ivan, had promised to be her BFFLF-oh, excuse me, promised to see her through to the end.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't give me that look, I don't own you :C

Oh yeah, I've noticed that a few people (a lot of you) give the name "Alyssa" to Alfred when genderbent. Yeah, no. Sorry, I can't do that for friendship reasons. So, a friend and I thought up the name "Amelia Francine Jones". Amelia was the first name of the first female to fly across the Atlantic Ocean solo, Amelia Mary Earhart. Look at her wiki if you want anymore info on her.

-WOMP-

Amelia looked at herself through the mirror. Pregnant, she was pregnant. But the question is, "how"? She used protection, birth control, and other things that she was supposed to take so that she _wouldn't _get pregnant. But here she was, pregnant. Here was the pregnancy test to prove it.

"The last person I slept with was Ivan, since he and I are sort of dating," she said to herself. At least she knew who was responsible for her abrupt pregnancy. But it wasn't as if she were 17 in high school. She was 32, and well on her own. She had a career, a home, and was more than able to take care of herself. Question is, how would she break it to Ivan? She and Ivan have been dating for about two years now, and they have yet to discuss the topic of children or starting a family.

Of course, there was also telling her parents that she was up the duff. Francis wouldn't care. In fact, he had been asking her for a kid for years, but she had always deemed herself too young. Well, here's the kid he wanted to badly. Arthur would be the one she had to convince that she was perfectly fine with having a baby. Arthur was FAR too over protective for his (and Amelia's) own good. She was 32 and he still treated her as if she were 13. She sighed then decided to keep the pregnancy test as proof when she broke it to Ivan (along with her parents) that she was, indeed, knocked up.

After a quick shower and pigging out on more than she would normally eat at McDonalds for breakfast, she felt as if she were ready to tell her boyfriend that he had planted the seed.

She called him on his cell, since he was all the way in Russia, and waited impatiently for him to pick up.

"_Privyet,_" He answered

"Yeah, hey Ivan,"

A childish chuckle, "Why hello my little _labushka_," he just had to call her that. Her cheeks flushed pink, "what can I do you for?" sexual innuendoes suck when done right with a Russian accent

"Uhm, I kinda wanna talk to you about something, Ivan," she said, her voice cracking a bit

There was silence on the other line for a moment, "About?"

"Well," she didn't know how to say it without it being awkward, "uhm…"

"Amelia," Ivan said in his comforting tone reserved only for her, "You may tell me anything, da? You normally do so anyway,"

"Well, you've heard about the birds and the bees, right?"

"Da, we often dabble into that ourselves,"

"Well," why was this so hard…"promise me we'll be BFFLF"

"Excuse me?"

"Best Friends For Life Forever!"

"How about I promise I'll see this through to the end with you,"

"Fine, be a dick," she sucked in a large amount of air, and spoke in a slow calm tone, even though she was shaking like a leaf, "Ivan Braginski, ambassador of the Republic of Russia, I, Amelia "Earhart" Francine Jones, ambassador of The United States of America,"

"Amelia, hurry up, da?"

"am pregnant," there, she said it

There was a silence looming over her. She was scared of him hanging up on her, saying that it wasn't his, even though he was the last one she fucked, and making her get an abortion, but there wasn't. In fact, she heard a soft, rich chuckled on the other line.

"What's so funny?" she asked, pouting slightly that she was getting laughed at because of something as lame as pregnancy

"I just think it's cute, the image that is, of you pregnant," he chuckled some more

"What's that supposed to mean!"

He laughed wholeheartedly, "I'll be telling my boss this and will make my way to America this weekend," another laugh, "how far along are you?"

"I'm guessing a week? I just found out this morning,"

"Hmm, I did fail to put on a condom the last time we had sex," he mused

"SO THIS _IS _YOUR FAULT!" she screamed into the phone

"I was in the heat of the moment, da, I just had to have you then and there,"

Amelia blushed, remembering just how heated their last session was. The kissing, the touching, the caresses, the stroking…

A laugh brought her out of her daydreams, "So, this weekend we shall see each other, da?"

"Yeah sure, ya barebackin' bastard,"

"If I remember correctly, you were the one who said to skip it,"

"Well fuck you, too, Braginski!"

"We already have, multiple times, da,"

"Ass!"

"You have a nice one,"

She groaned as he laughed into the phone as he laughed at her. Of course, she had no idea that this was what a real relationship truly consisted of. The picking and teasing at someone over something like pregnancy.

After a nice conversation with him, some planning on what they would do when he arrived, and some not too subtle flirting, they said their good byes and hung up. She stood up and went to her office, putting off telling her parents until the weekend when the baby's father, Ivan, was in town.

She looked at the bright red button on her desk, the word "Easy" engraved in bold white text. She pressed it, and the automated response, "That was easy" ringing in the air. That _was _easy.

-WOMP-

Short, I know, but...I guess this is what most writers would call a "prologue" (whatever that is, lol, I kid :D).

Fun fact of the day: I haven't posted a fanfic since the summer of 2010. FUCK MY IN PROGRESS NARUTO FICS! 8D

I blame this fanfic on my friend, Amber, who challenged me into making a RusFem!Amer fanfic. I don't even know where this idea came from, I just know that…I wanted to read one, there wasn't one, so I wrote one, and look what happened. -herp derp face-

What is sexier than a Ruski in heat? A hot steamy review.


	2. Fine China and Earl Grey

Arthur Kirkland parked his car outside of his daughter's home. Stepping out, he walked around the small garden that was planted in the front of the yard. The Lillies were beginning to bloom, and they were looking as gorgeous as ever. The front of the house was looking good, too, but could do for a fresh coat of paint once winter was done and over with. No point in putting some on when the part of America she was in was expecting a particularly bad one this year.

Ringing the door bell, Arthur couldn't help but wonder what his youngest had called him over for. It was so sudden, and if her voice gave anything away during their conversation over the phone, it was also urgent.

Was she in debt again? No, she would've told him that ages ago that she was in debt. Did something happen to her at work? Goodness, he hoped not. Politics was her life, and if she had been fired, where'd she work? Certainly not that dreaded McDonalds. Even _she _knew she was too good to work there. And she loved that place. Maybe Amelia wasn't getting fired. Maybe she was given a new opportunity, and there was some cost (opportunity cost) with getting some sort of promotion. Arthur could only hope that she'd be able to make the appropriate decision. She often times had a knack for picking the wrong choice at the wrong-

"Ah, Arthur! Amelia and I have been expecting you, da!"

Wait…what the fuck? Was he in Russia by mistake?

Arthur looked at him with in incredulous look for a moment. he looked at the mailbox. Yes, that had Amelia's address. Then this most certainly must be his daughter's home. So what was Braginski doing here?

He shook his head, laughing as he did so. Ivan to raise an eyebrow at this.

After a few minutes, Arthur gained his breath again, "What" another giggle fit, "what the bloody hell are you doing here?"

Arthur started laughing again. This time, Ivan had a strained smile on his face, a dark foreboding gloom beginning to creep up around him, "Amelia invited me here for the weekend, da. Is there any problem with that?"

Arthur immediately stopped laughing. This isn't funny anymore!

"_You're _here for the weekend? What the bloody-" he looked passed Ivan to see Amelia sneaking out of the kitchen, "Amelia!" Arthur pushed passed the Russian behemoth out of the way, stopping the American girl in her tracks, a bowl of instant ramen in her grasp "What the bloody hell do you have that, that," he looked over at Ivan as he shut the door then opened the curtain to the right of it to let some sunlight in "that _man _here for!"

"He's spending the weekend here, duh," she said with a mouth full of noodles

As if that were obvious

Arthur's eyebrow twitched, "I know he's here for the weekend, the bastard's told me that already," he rubbed his temples, "but _why _is he here?"

"Oh! He's here for moral support,"

"Moral support! I thought that _I_ was here for moral support!"

Amelia shook her head and shoved another chopstick full of noodles in her mouth, "No, I have to tell you something,"

"What the fuck do you have to tell me that's so important that you couldn't share over the bloody telephone?"

Amelia gave her bowl empty bowl to Ivan, who put it in the kitchen sink before joining the two of them out in the living area.

"Ok Dad! Don't bother sitting down cause you'll just stand right up when you hear this!"

Arthur didn't know what to expect from her. An STI? AIDs? Unemployed? She's about to be homeless? What could it be? Well, with Amelia, it could be anything. And when he said anything. He meant _anything_.

He sat himself on the arm of the couch anyway. Looking at her with a neutral face, expecting the best and the worse. What a wild card he had for a daughter.

"Alright daddy, you ready?"

He nodded his head. Bring it on, bitch. He can take anything-

"I'm pregnant?"

Fbgveobgovdefbuoeghwo bouhdsfbg jlhfsb g splodes "Excuse me?"

"I'm pregnant,"

Mind splodes.

Arthur looked at Ivan, and then at his daughter. How the…when the…when did. He blinked. Opened his mouth several times, pretending to be a fish, then closed both his eyes and mouth.

Amelia took this as a warning. Get the Earl Grey with the fine China tea set, on the double, NOW!

She ran to the kitchen, leaving Ivan standing awkwardly in front of a dumbstruck Arthur. And he said he'd be ready. Maybe he doesn't know his daughter as well as he thought he did.

A few moments later, Amelia came out with a steaming hot cup of tea. She handed it over to her father's shaking hands, who took a test sip to see if it was any good. She hoped it was, Amelia really didn't feel like getting tea stains out of her walls. Again.

It was satisfactory. No tea stains today, dear.

After sipping tea until he got his heart back under control, he stood there, looking at his daughter and her poor excuse of a baby daddy. Lord, please don't allow for them to appear on Jerry, Maury, or any of those trashy shows on television.

"Now, how exactly did this happen?"

Ivan opened his mouth to, most likely, say something that will really make Arthur throw his tea across the room. Amelia elbowed him in the side. She honestly can't afford to replace her best fine china tea set _again _for the thirtieth time.

"Well, Dad, Ivan and I have been in a relationship for about two years now, and well, one thing led to the other after one of our dates, and…yeah. Here we are,"

Ivan's shit eating smile grew wider. One thing often times led to another after a number amount of dates. But he wouldn't tell Arthur that, at least not yet.

Arthur's face twisted into a furious glare directed at Ivan, "You! You Russian git! How dare you, you, contaminate my daughter! Seducing her into commiting the vile act of…ssssex with her!"

Ivan laughed airily, "Oh Arthur, it is not as if your daughter disapproved of it!"

Gee, thanks Ivan. That just made this predicament so much easier for your girlfriend. Amelia and Arthur both gave him a nasty glare before looking at each other, deciding it would be best if they just ignored him for the rest of the day.

"You've laid in bed with this giant twat!"

"Dad, you have to understand, Ivan's a nice guy once you give him a chance, and a chance I gave,"

"Yes, and now look at you! You're pregnant!"

"But I'm not living with you as I'm pregnant, now am I? I'm thirty two, living on my own, working as the ambassador for the United States of America. I can afford to have a child as I am now,"

Arthur snorted, rolling his eyes as he crossed one leg over the other. He sipped his tea idly, half listening to his daughter.

"Arthur, you're not even listening to me!

"How dare you call me by my first name! And I was listening to you!"

"Sure you were,"

"I was!" Arthur got up and handed his tea set to his daughter, "And you!" he looked at the much larger (in both ways) Russian who was smiling like a maniac by this point, "I advise you to marry my daughter before it's time for her to go into labor! I refuse to have another child in this family out of wedlock! Marry her, or take the child and be gone!"

"Father!"

"Shut up, Amelia! What's the matter, Ivan? The challenge too hard for-"

"I accept,"

"Pardon!"

Ivan chuckled, "Little do you know Arthur, I've actually been wanting your consent to marry your daughter for the longest time, and you've just given me permission to do so." Ivan held Arthur's hands, "I thank you, Arthur,"

Arthur and Amelia stood still after hearing Ivan said that. To be perfectly honest, not even Amelia was expecting that.

"Well…err…you'd better do so soon," Arthur snatched his hands out of Ivan's. He turned to his daughter, "…If there's anything you ever need, come to me. As much as it doesn't seem like it, I know a thing or to about pregnancy and infants. I've raised three, remember?"

Amelia smiled at her father, "Wait, where are you staying?"

"Your brother's home over in Canada." he finished his tea, "He's single and living on his own, so there'll definitely be some peace and quiet there," he sneered at Ivan before walking towards the door, "I'll be seeing you, Amelia," he said in departing.

"Bye dad!" That was easy, "Now where's my easy button?"

"In your office, Amelia,"

"Oh yeah,"

"Oh yes," Oh yes indeedy…

AN: I know, I know. Long wait for chapter two. Well, you're going to have to get used to this. I don't update every week. I update…every other week to every other month or so. I know, I'm a horrible author, but chapter two is hard to write ): Why do you all think I quit doing multi chapter stories D':

Anyway, well, here it is. I hope you liked it ;D I worked hard on it (not really).


	3. Chapter 3

Today was just a bad day, or rather, Matthew had just went on a bad date. Francis has been pressuring him into trying to find someone nice to spend of his quiet life with. Someone he can relate to and bitch at when Amelia (or the rest of his family for that matter) just gets on his nerves. Today, Francis had set him up on a blind date with one of his co workers, and let's just say, she wasn't the nicest woman in the world. Forget talking about her, Matthew was trying his best to forget about her. Hopefully, Francis wont bring it up in conversation and he -Matthew- can just move on with his life. His lonely, lonely, life.

Honestly, Matthew didn't know why everyone was so concerned about him getting a partner. He had Kumajiro…or was it Kumataro? Kumasi maybe? Whatever. The point that he was trying to make was he wasn't lonely at all. He was happy, successful, and just fine with living the single life. All he needed was his favorite polar bear, his favorite lazy boy, his favorite pancakes complete with his favorite maple syrup, and his favorite Hockey team kicking ass. That's all he really needed, and sooner or later, Francis and Amelia will realize this and leave him to his own devises. Like they should've been doing 10 years ago.

His phone rang.

It was probably Francis trying to hook him up with another horrid female. He sighed then massaged the bridge of his nose, biting back the oncoming headache.

He looked at the Caller ID and realized it wasn't Francis nor was it his annoying little sister. It was actually his mother figure, Arthur. Usually Arthur is so busy yelling at Amelia to even realize that he had a second child. Oh well, maybe he wants someone to bitch at since she's being an idiot and Francis is just impossible for him to talk to.

"Hello?"

"Matthew? Are you home?" He certainly didn't waste any time

"Yeah, I am. What's the matter, eh?"

"Oh it's your bloody sister and your goddamn father! The most irresponsible people in the world! How they both became ambassadors of their countries I completely understand! They're the complete personification of their country!" and there he goes.

The best Matthew could do was listen, say "Mhm" and hope the conversation would end soon. It was rearing in on the 20th minute of nothing but bitching did Arthur say something that caught Matthew COMPLETELY off guard.

"And along with Francis being a total frog and an irresponsible git, your sister has the very nerve of getting pregnant-"

"Wait-what!"

This is when you stop bitching and immediately tell your first born what the fuck just happened to his little sister.

"You heard me! Your sister is pregnant, thanks to that damn Russian!"

Ivan! _Ivan _got _Amelia _pregnant! What the fuck! Oh no wait, they were going out for a bit. Well, for two years, but damn. You don't start having kids until you've at least moved in together. They were taking this way too fast.

"So, let me get this straight, eh. Amelia, my little sister, is pregnant with Ivan's child,"

"Yes, you're correct,"

"What the fuck!"

"That is exactly what I said! Well, I tried to say!"

"Does dad know?"

"Why the fuck would I tell Francis about this! He'd harass the girl into doing explicit acts _while _she's pregnant!"

"Well you know mom, doctors do say that having sex while pregnant is healthy for the baby,"

"What bloody doctor says that!"

"Just look on the internet, Mom!"

That's when he suddenly caught onto the realization that Matthew had been calling him "mom" for a while now.

"Mum! I am no one's Mother!"

Matthew suppressed a laugh, "Yeah, whatever, eh,"

"And don't believe the rubbish that's all over the internet like your sister! That's probably why she's pregnant now!"

Matthew noticed a pair of headlights coming up in his driveway. It was probably Gilbert. He got up to unlock the door. The idiot probably forgot the key that Matthew had got for him his last birthday.

The door burst open, and much to his displeasure, it wasn't Gilbert stomping through his door. It was Arthur. Great...

Matthew hung up the phone, and watched as his "mother" reaked havoc about his home. Picking up and rearranging whatever hay have been out of place as he went on a tirade about his daughter.

"And to think I got her started on birth control when she was sixteen to make her prepared! I thought those damned pills were supposed to _prevent _pregnancy! What the fuck is she doing pregnant!"

"Who's knocked up?" This is when Gilbert decided to make his awesome entrance

"Who the bloody hell invited you here!"

"Your awesome son you unawesome Brit. Now who's pregnant?" he ignored the seething Englishman

"Amelia's pregnant," Matthew said, making his way to his kitchen, specifically to the medicine cabinet that was right over his sink for an advil.

"Who'd she fuck?" Gilbert followed him but made a detour at the fridge. He pulled out a beer and what seems to be left over pancakes from that morning.

"Ivan, who else Gil," Matthew popped a few pills and then washed it down with water

"The bloody prick hasn't even proposed yet and he's already decided that I'm ready for grandchildren!" Arthur made his way into the kitchen and zeroed in on the sink full of dirty dishes. Something else to keep his hands occupied and to keep his mouth running. Let's just hope he doesn't try to make dinner or anything.

"I don't think he had your unawesome self in mind when he was fucking your daughter,"

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY!"

"GILBERT!"

"What! Who the fuck thinks of their girlfriend or boyfriend's mom and his or her thoughts on pregnancy when they're fucking! It's the very last thing on their mind next to credit card bills and shit like that," he took a swig of his beer

Arthur turned to Matthew and pointed at Gilbert, "What the bloody fuck do you see in him? I was willing to step out of your personal life, unlike your sister and the frog you call a father, but you bring him in your house and prove to me that I need to be a positive influence in your life again! Your taste in men is atrocious, Matthew!"

"Mom, you don't even like the man you're with, eh. Besides, this isn't about me and Gilbert, this is about Amelia and Ivan,"

"You mean Ivan and Amelia," Gilbert corrected

"Shutup, Gilbert," Arthur and Matthew said in unison.

Gilbert just put his pancakes in the microwave, hit thirty seconds, and then stepped out of the kitchen with his hands up in a mock peace offering. His beer was still in one of those hands though.

"So, what's Amelia going to do, is she keeping it?"

"Of course she's keeping it! I don't allow abortions in my family!"

"No, Mom! I mean, is she going to pull a Juno?"

Arthur gave him a look of confusion

"Is she going to put it up for adoption?"

"Oh heaven's no. Why didn't you just say that? She said she was prepared and ready for the responsibilities of having children. Let's just hope she sticks to it," Arthur turned on the water, poured some soup, and immediately began scrubbing dishes.

"Mom, you and I both know that Amelia cannot take care of kids. It's not like she hates them, it's more of the fact that she'll think they're hungry even though they have a gaping wound on their forehead,"

"That only happened once, and it was not a gaping wound it was a small bruise that she didn't notice right away... the stupid girl,"

"Mother, that mishap was on the news for months,"

And that's when it dawned on the both of them. The news. The media. It would only be a matter of time before the media found out that Amelia was pregnant. Well, not necessarily, they'd probably figure something out during the third or fourth month, but still, think of what people may say. Everyone remembers that small mishap that happened that Matthew had previously talked about. They might use that as to show how she may be an unfit mother.

"It doesn't matter what the press says about this," Gilbert had returned for his pancakes that he had forgotten about, "it's not about them, it's about her," he set his plate on the counter and began to rip the pancakes in uneven pieces. He had long since finished his first beer and had gotten another from the fridge shortly before taking his pancakes out of the microwave "what those unawesome bastards say about her is totally irrelevant, what really matters is how she's going to prove to everyone that she's an awesome mom," he picked up a piece of pancake, dipped it in syrup, and ate it. His newer, more messier method of eating pancakes.

"Gilberts right, Mom,"

"For once in his life,"

"But he's right though! As long as Amelia concentrates on her baby, it's needs and wants, and how to raise it correctly, she'd be a pretty good mom,"

"Or maybe she'll be an overbearing bitch," he stuffed another piece in his mouth, "just like her mother," Gilbert ducked when a platter had been chucked at his head

"MOM! THAT WAS MY GOOD PLATTER!"

"I'LL BUY YOU A NEW ONE DEAR!" he threw a knife at the albino menace

As Arthur hurled all sorts of objects that could possibly kill Gilbert and end his career as a politician (not like any of them cared) Matthew pulled out his phone and called the one person who probably has not been told of this so far

"Bonjour,"

"Bonjour, papa,"

"How are you, Mattieu?"

"Good, good,"

There was another large crash, probably the vase that his father got for him for his birthday by the sounds of it

"Is that your mother and Gilbert I hear in the background?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Oh, and did you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"Amelia's pregnant,"

"WHAT!"

Lol. Yeah, this is late as fuck, but hey, at least I didn't leave this fic hanging. I honestly didn't know what to write on this chapter. Chapter 2 could've lead to anything. I hope you people don't hate me, because I love you~


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